In just a handful of years, Dad, Mom, the Mister and my dog died with Alzheimer’s, heart disease, diabetes, and cancer respectively. Somewhere along the line, better life through chemistry sounded like words to live by. I began to take an anti-depressant.

Last week, I decided it was time to ‘cowgirl up’ so I began weaning myself off the pills. Two days ago I stopped the drug altogether.

That sets the scene for today, okay? Hold that thought.

Sis and I are driving through Glacier National Park. This place is so filled with ghosts for us both that it wraps around us in a shroud of memory. We started camping in Glacier with Mom and Dad and family and friends in the fifties. We grew up year after year in Avalanche campground fishing in the creek, pestering bears, hiking the Garden Wall, riding a series of ill tempered old trail plugs. Even, for the love of God, singing around the ol’ campfire.

Got the picture? Heady memories mixed with two days off incubating drugs? I am suddenly an emotional wreck. I begin to weep at the park entrance. Sis presents her Golden Eagle Pass to the National Parks. The ranger looks at me ululating like a mourning Middle Easterner. He tells Sis to have a nice day (he knows I’ve already failed that hurdle).

But suddenly I am not weeping. I am giggling, then roaring with laughter until tears of joy cascade down my face. What could I possibly have done that would be a greater test of drug free living? Can I plan or what?

It is rumored that Glacier Park will have no more glaciers in a decade. And the north side of Lake MacDonald is scarred by forest fire. And a devastating beetle has killed many of the trees on the east side of the park. But grandeur still surrounds you. The road is still called Going to the Sun and no other highway compares. America the Beautiful.

That’s plenty worth crying about even without memory and mood on overload. With it, well it’s quite a trip here on the back nine.

Oh, and P.S. I seem to be having issues with anger management as well. So fuck you, gentle reader, if you choose to criticize.