Would you meat eaters care to participate in some seat-of-the-pants research that isn’t projectable past the town square of Tuscaloosa? Well, great! Here’s the deal:

I have a client who is a chicken man. He raises and processes chicken and sells it through various grocery chains. If you’d answer a few questions, you’d help me figure out what to say about this product. Here goes.

Product Description: This chicken is raised on Amish farms in sunny, cage-free barns. It meets the highest Halal standards; Halal is the Muslim word for healthy food raised and processed in a humane way. The birds are fed all-grain diets, with no preservatives, artificial ingredients, hormones or coloring agents added. Because they can move around freely, they develop more muscle and less fat, resulting in tasty, healthy meat for you and your family.

So here are the questions; just list the numbers/letters in your comments:

1. Choose the 4 phrases that mean the most to you:

A. Cage-free

B. Natural

C. Healthy

D. Organic

E. Halal

F. Fresh

G. No trans fats

H. No preservatives

I. No artificial ingredients

J. No hormones added

K. Costs more

L. Muslim

M.  Amish

N. Humane

O. Tastes good

2. Now choose the one phrase from the above that means the most to you.

3. OK. Using the same list, choose any phrase that is a negative.

4. Can you tell me why you made your “negative” choice(s).

5. Is the negative strong enough to be a deal breaker?

6. Add anything else you wish. I’ll read it. I won’t laugh at you. Well, maybe.

Many thanks from the back nine. You’re helping save my butt on this one.