When my mother died, she left a thick file on everything she wanted done. There was a will, of course, but she had also purchased her cemetery plot and pre-paid the funeral home. She did what she could to make the occasion as easy as possible on her daughters.

Mom was an organizer by nature — “the family’s spark plug” was the term used by her brother. I don’t think anyone in our tribe would have ever gone anywhere if she didn’t instigate, coordinate and spur us into action.

Because she was such a planner, it comes as no surprise that she also left behind a note about which daughter got what personal item. She was a house-proud woman who kept immaculate care of her furnishings. She bought “good” and kept it that way with years of elbow grease. So her possessions were often real treasures.

Note: She was a great believer in Kruckenberg’s Gourmet Wood Cleaner. Try it; it has a pungent aroma that you may not like but to us, it is the scent of clean.

She bequeathed some things to me and some to Sis (as well as to her only grandchild, Linda). I lived in Seattle at the time, and my sister in Oregon. The items Mom did not specify went in an estate sale or were further divided by us. We only came close to battling over one item: a three-tiered handpainted rose globe lamp. But we found a note that said she wanted it to go to her neighbor, Annette. So even that was no issue.

Years whoosh past and lives change. When the Mister boarded the medical tilt-a-whirl with a lifetime ticket to ride, Sis and I bought a house together about eight blocks from the nursing home.

And that’s how the silver tea set Mom left to me has landed back on the marble top end table she gave to Sis. Her silverware and ruby thumbprint pitcher grace the dining room table for both of us. Her embroidery is in the powder room; her sofa is in our shared living room.

I was with her when she purchased the coffee table nearly fifty years ago. Today, it is stacked with parrot perches and toys. Mom would spin in her grave about the usage … but she’d be pleased to know we’re all back together again.