Ten feet in running or hiking shoes found over the past five years in the waters between British Columbia and Washington state. More right feet than left.
Do Orcas find everything but shoes tasty and leave the feet for last? Do ankles and knees disconnect easily as bodies in water begin to disintegrate? Have sailors come up with a punishment worse than keel hauling?
Ah, the mysterious wilds of the Pacific Northwest.
When a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? Not with other trees around. It’s just like us … too embarrassed to draw attention to itself.
A fall is a natural bodily function. But much like farting or burping, we are embarrassed to admit to it. Maybe because a fall invariably happens in public when you are with, oh say, Clive Owen or when you are receiving your EMMY. You, of course, deny that anything is hurt even if your right leg is on the opposite curb from your left.
Why do we hate to admit that we actually hurt ourselves when we do? From now on, I am going to change that. Next time I go ass over teakettle, I am going to lie there, thrashing and flailing as much as the various old body parts will allow. When I can get my breath, I’ll shriek. I’ll sue the whoever that paved the whatever. I will pull down anyone near me who so much at hints at the insufferable, “Did you hurt yourself?”
I guarantee next time I fall on my knees, you’ll hear more than the angel voices.
