Have you noticed that flashlights are worse than socks? If the lights go out, just you try to find one. And if you do locate one in the dark, you can then go hunt for batteries. I am sure there is a vibrator joke in here somewhere but it is 6 am on a bleak Monday, and I say fuck humor.
In our house, the next most frequently lost item is Significant-Other-In-Law’s wallet. This hunt is as regular as a ‘call to the hounds’ each morning. Shortly followed by the search for his car keys. By the time he leaves for work, I guarantee an acute case of road rage before he even gets into the vehicle.
I am next in the rage department with pens. They escape from the nether regions of my purse, like the little soldiers grappling stair cliffs in Toy Story. And between the three adults living in my household, there is only one pencil. Sis, the most dependable of the batch, has custody.
The other day I lost the bird’s food bowl somewhere between the kitchen and his cage. Sis finally found it after Sundance taught himself to say, “For the love of God, feed me.”
Hope you all keep track of your young’uns this Halloween. If you see one with an extra flashlight, could you send it my way?
