I recently had reason to fill out a Psychological Evaluation. Not one of the old multiphasic personality inventories (“would you rather meet a new friend or slam fingers in your desk drawer?”), but a simpler study with less room for error in interpretation.

I mean, if you select “5 times or more per day” on your usage of Ex-lax, well I feel safe saying you have a problem. Probably more than one unless you are filling out your questionnaire in the bathroom.

Some probes on this eval were actually sad. Like how often you use crack, angel dust, mescaline, or mushrooms – and I don’t think they meant portabellos. Who’s going to answer anything but never? Not that I’m promoting the “liar, liar pants on fire” stance on life issues, but I’m just saying.

I’m beginning to sound a lot like Andy Rooney.

I’m on sale! Just in time for that big holiday market, Kindle has lowered the price on both my books. They were $3.99 each which allowed me just slightly more profit than the slots at the Elwha Tribe casino. But act fast and you can complete your gift list shopping with Fun House Chronicles at $3.03 or Lessons of Evil at $3.79. Play your cards right and maybe they’ll throw in some ginsu knives.

Why the sale? I don’t know. Who chose the amounts? I don’t know. Kindle moves in mysterious ways, its wonders … oh wait, someone else uses that line.

When I discovered the sale a while back, I also discovered a new review from Garret W Souders on FHC. The reviews matter to Kindle in some Houdini-esque formula. They matter to me because there are days I’d rather turn my back on the writing business and take up the cello. Or maybe the tango. But we all know I’d suck at that. So if you’re out there, Garret, thanks for keeping me on the right track.