Pearls for Emily
In a recent post called “Pending further guidance,” at http://ferocitymill.wordpress.com, Emily revealed insecurities about being adult. She asked “for whatever pearls you can offer regarding Life, the Universe and Everything.”
So here are some thoughts, if not on the big LU&E issues, then on getting by day to day. If Sis and I were in the Elwha tribe, we’d be called elders. As it is, we’re just pontificating poops. And, Emily? We think that anyone who has handled actual missiles is probably already adult.
• Who says “being angry” isn’t adult? Rage against the shitheads, the lunatics. Buckle under to nothing except paperwork. It is stupid, it is redundant, but it will never let up. Get used to it. You’ll be happier.
• Do not define yourself by ahusband or children. They can leave you … you can’t. One elder says, “Be yourself. Everybody else is taken.”
• Nothing you do is as important as who you are. If traveling and taking part time jobs is who you are, do that. How can you be a true adult if you don’t know your true self?
• Live by the principle “Ask forgiveness, not permission.” You’ll accomplish so much more.
• Always be able to support yourself. But be advised that “saving for your golden years” doesn’t mean there’ll be gold when you get there. Just ask that senior next to you how much she’s lost recently, or how she’ll afford care for that $50,000 hang nail without insurance. Save some, but don’t be afraid to spend while you’re young enough to enjoy it.
• Trust your instincts. It’s okay to be wrong because you still have time to get it right. Count on changing careers or maybe never even working in the field you’ve chosen. Just because you’re educated in it, don’t stay in a job that makes you unhappy.
• In marriage, treat him at least as politely as you would a stranger. Be independent enough to leave an obnoxious situation, and smart enough to bend a little for a good one.
• Finally, however we look, we still have our childhoods inside. None of us is “grown up” completely. As Sis says, “We still make faces in our mirrors.”
Emily, you have lots of sisters out here – a little weathered and sagging a bit and sadder but wiser – who are pulling for you. How can you miss, young lady?
