Language death

A dead language is one no longer spoken, like the one shared by the Mister and me. And when I die, it will become an extinct language.

Every couple has its own language, of course. It’s a stew of mouthings and flappings and chortles and whistles whose flavor becomes more complex as it simmers through the years. Only he knew why a certain word could reduce me to fits of hysteria or an apparently benign melody might bring me to tears.

Our language has been dead for just shy of five months now. I am content and most days doing very well. But there is a silence that is loudest on cloudy mornings or wakeful midnights. Those are times I wish he were here to speak our language again.

A word of advise from the back nine? Listen to each other while you can.

7 Responses to “Language death” »»

  1. Comment by Trina | 08/21/09 at 11:23 am

    I suppose I won’t fully understand what you are going through until it happens to me. But it hurts my heart to even think about it and it hurts my heart to know you are going through it.

  2. Comment by Donna | 08/21/09 at 1:36 pm

    My friend says that he misses not having to explain why things like Monty Python is funny, why he doesn’t like some things, and why he does like others, it’s just the knowing each other, and you are right, the language of your own that you miss. Having someone know what you are thinking, and why. And the reasons your opinions of things are shaped that way. He still can’t listen to music on the radio, but listens to music that she didn’t care for…or that was not special to them.
    It so sucks, and I am sorry.

  3. Comment by Quiana | 08/21/09 at 1:46 pm

    I’m glad to hear that you are mostly well. I can’t imagine what you are feeling when you aren’t feeling good, but know that we are out here wishing you well.

  4. Comment by Jan Ross | 08/21/09 at 2:48 pm

    So, so true. My husband and I can exchange a word or phrase and crack up, when nobody else would understand at all. I’m so sorry you have lost that.

  5. Comment by Emily | 08/22/09 at 1:41 pm

    Beautifully put, my friend, and so true. Thank you for writing this.

  6. Comment by willikat | 08/22/09 at 7:02 pm

    I just wrote the other day how one of my favorite things is the whole conversation william and i can have in a glance.

    i’m glad to hear you’re doing mostly well. but i would miss that language an awful lot, too. it feels good to be gotten.

  7. Comment by archiearchive | 08/24/09 at 4:12 am

    I too am lucky enough to know of that language which grows between two people. It contains and implies love and trust which will never die. Your words have left me with a lump in my throat and a bit of excess moisture in my eyes. Hang in there, my friend.

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