Short Game 35
Chip Shot 1

Happy New Bitch

I seem to be having just a wee bit of trouble graciously entering the New Year.

Bella in her Christmas finery

Bella in her Christmas finery


1. My niece posted a perfectly delightful video of a typical evening at her house. If this had been my house, you would have seen me berthed on the sofa for hour on end, like a walrus comatose in the sun. The only discernable motion: swatting Bella off the TV remote. When I think of it, this may be why Linda has eleven billion readers and I have, well, you.

2. I picked a fight with Sis. She has purchased a ridiculous asinine item she will enjoy very much and it’s none of my goddamn business. I know that, ok, so I suggest you keep any pollyanna-ish opinions to yourselves.

3. Not yet convinced that my New Year celebration was complete, I picked a fight with the Mister. If you really want to feel good about yourself, try berating a man in a hospital bed.

4. I can’t win at Spider Solitaire since New Year’s Eve and I am sure the Compu-noia gods are messing with me. It is embarrassing to admit that I am an SS addict, but come to think of it, maybe not so embarrassing since at least one of you is in to ass porn. You know who you are.

5. I am furious with the weather. I haven’t been able to get to Rite-Aid to purchase the half price Christmas candy before they swapped it out for the Valentine candy.

6. I have now received the fourth rejection of my query letter about my manuscript. Maybe I should have listened to Josh all along.

Anyway, if you’re looking for anyone to kick your dog, pick a fight, or call you names, I’m your woman. Happy fucking New Year from the back nine.

By: Linda | 01/04/09 | - General - Pets - holiday | Trackback | Comments [RSS 2.0]

11 Responses to “Happy New Bitch” »»

  1. Mrs. Who
    Comment by Mrs. Who | 01/04/09 at 11:09 am

    And Happy Fucking New Year to you, my dear.

    Did you know Margaret Mitchell got 38 rejection letters before “Gone With the Wind” was published?

    Anytime you want encouragement, just ask a librarian.

    Keep trying.

  2. Donna
    Comment by Donna | 01/04/09 at 11:42 am

    Yeah. I’m having one like that too so far.
    I’m really losing my sense of humor. And that’s killing me.
    And for all my troubles, I have no one to blame but myself.
    And that’s killing me even worse. Shoot me now.
    (The last really good day I had was when JB peed my name in the snow. This should tell you something. When someone pees your name in the snow and that’s the high point? I need to rethink my life.)

  3. Kim
    Comment by Kim | 01/04/09 at 12:41 pm

    Well! You’ve just described my feelings on 2009 so far just perfectly.
    I’ll add to the writing encouragement:
    Stephen King had thrown out his manuscript for Carrie when unbeknownst to him, his wife took it out of the garbage can and sent it in.
    And just from reading this blog, I know your quality of writing is far superior to his. And I’m a King fan.

  4. TinaNZ
    Comment by TinaNZ | 01/04/09 at 1:06 pm

    Happy New Year Linda =)

    I’m the reader who isn’t into ass porn! (well not much). I started playing Spider from game #1 and left off well into the thousands, so you’re not alone with that addiction. It sounds like you’re suffering from advanced cabin fever, or a variant of Kipling’s ‘Cameelious Hump’ -

    “…We climb out of bed with a frouzly head,
    And a snarly-yarly voice…”

    (http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/how-the-camel-got-his-hump/)

    Btw, Bella looks equally pissed off in that photo, and who can blame her?

  5. Trina
    Comment by Trina | 01/04/09 at 1:36 pm

    We will just call it teenaged angst. It’s a phase and it will pass. I am going to email you something that my next door neighbor emailed to me that sent me over the edge and it actually made me lose sleep last night. If you are feel angry now, this will either make you laugh or piss you off even more. I think it all depends on how you read it.

    Keep trying with the manuscript. If anyone knows what’s good for them they will publish it. Otherwise the Back Nine Mob will bust their knee caps. :)

  6. archiearchive
    Comment by archiearchive | 01/05/09 at 5:10 am

    But But But – I’m not actually into ASS porn – - – I prefer mice.

    Hey, with such a poor beginning, the rest of the year must be an improvement!

  7. Jenn
    Comment by Jenn | 01/05/09 at 6:49 am

    I totally understand the grouchy outlook. It’s okay. Doesn’t mean the rest of 2009 is going to follow suit. You will get published. You write far too well not to… Big hug. Hang in there. -J

  8. Back Nine
    Comment by Back Nine | 01/05/09 at 7:08 am

    You are all semi=precious gems, and not to worry: the ass porn addict is not among you. A note to TinaNZ: I agree, the Bella bows are a bit over the top. But one of us around here needed to look festive, and Sis wouldn’t wear them.

  9. Mister
    Comment by Mister | 01/06/09 at 2:47 pm

    Kinda worried about what it means, exactly, to prefer mice to ass porn.

  10. TinaNZ
    Comment by TinaNZ | 01/06/09 at 8:16 pm

    Just occurred to me – this entry and comment section is going to send your google hits soaring.

  11. Jhianna
    Comment by Jhianna | 01/08/09 at 9:37 am

    You, my dear, are one of the highlights of my day. And this post reminded me of how much I’d missed seeing your posts. (Curmudgeon always was one of my favorite words.)

    Neither mice nor ass porn for me, but I’ll take the sugar plum smeared Clive Owen from the prior post please.

    (I can’t wait to read your book, but Josh might be onto something after all. Have you seen what’s being published in Sci-Fi/Romance these days? Add in a hunky space pirate, and I think you’d have a winner.)

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