Short Game 11
The fun never stops at the nursing home; the August schedule included gospel singers, a pirate invasion, Dancing Grandmas, movies with popcorn, an ice cream social. There was also a Watermelon Spitting Contest. I presume they mean Watermelon Seed Spitting Contest, otherwise that’s a little hard on the old folks. And, yes, a wet T-shirt contest. Let’s hope this involved squirt guns vs. octogenarians showing off their wares.
***
According to the AP release of 8/28: Idaho Senator Craig claims his actions were “misconstrued.” Let’s examine this. A review of the event in question:
Police officer Karsnia was in a stall in a Minneapolis airport men’s room when he saw the Senator gazing through the door crack. The senator, after “fidgeting” with his fingers, entered the adjoining stall, tapped his right foot several times, moved said foot into Karsnia’s stall and touched the officer’s foot. He passed his left hand, palm up, under the stall divider, guiding it along the divider toward the front of the stall three times. Eventually, the officer arrested him.
OK. I certainly see how these actions could be misconstrued. For instance, maybe the Senator had laryngitis and tapped his foot to get Karsnia’s attention. Using body language, he was merely requesting three sheets of toilet paper.
Or, the senator admired the officer’s snappy loafers and wanted to see how one would look on his own foot.
Or, the senator is engaged in Operation Clean-Up, a major bust of airport janitors who refuse to dust the bottoms of dividers.
Or, Officer Karsnia was only wearing a Speedo at the time.
I am sure you have your own perfectly logical explanations for the Senator’s actions.
***
True or False. The real dog is on the right.
***
I have decided to spend a major chunk of my IRA now because, Let’s face it, I’m not exactly surrounded by people with successful old ages. And I don’t have the sense God gave a goose (my financial advisor actually moaned when I explained my plan). Sis and I are taking a long, long cruise.
Note to Josh: Before you get all crappy about cruising, keep in mind you are spry and can get your own damn brewskies, whereas I have reached the age of enjoying the finer things, like pool boys to hustle them up for me.
We’re heading for New Zealand via south sea islands. Then to a couple Australia ports. We will be in Sydney for four days before flying home. If anyone has a personal “don’t miss” in the Sydney area, please share.
And, can anyone figure out how I can disappear for six weeks without telling my clients?
