Short Game 4
The search for seat covers: I need new underwear, but we’re not talking Victoria Secret pretty. We’re talking granny pants that are too industrial grade to be called panties. So I go to eBay (no, not for used pants … eeeeeeuuuuuuw). I search the women’s undie listings which include hi-cut, thong, full cut, bikini, crotchless, g-string, boy cut, briefs. Then I see there are also square dance pants; I, of course, snicker and consider purchasing some for Linda and Sis. But the real stopper? Panties for cross dressers! Specially made with extra crotch room. We’ve come a long way, baby.
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The local pizzeria is Gertie’s. They have a message on the reader board under their sign that says Senior Class: Let God guide your future. While this may be the advice of Gertie’s Prayer ‘n Pizza, aka Our Lady of Perpetual Munching, I would like to suggest to the new grads that they count on themselves for a little guidance as well. Otherwise, they might be guided right to Iraq.
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Slow news day: Sis drew my attention to the headline in the local blat yesterday — No Clues in Hunt for Teen Lost Since ’81.
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The Mister continues to compile his dictionary with universal application for care center professionals (first mentioned in Ramblings 12). Here are a few new entries:
Dislocated vertebra: A vertebra no on can find
Rubber gloves: Gloves worn when you rub somebody
Occupational therapy: Giving a therapist a job
Parallel bars: Taverns built side by side
Beef stew: Prevailing theory about lumpy liquid served for dinner
Body audit: Finding out how much money the body has
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I want to thank all you lurkers for sticking with me. I’m pretty sure one of you is Clive Owen and will make yourself known to me when work slows down. In the meantime, I accept that you are my secret love. I just hope you’re in on the secret.
How do you feel about another little great niece or nephew coming along??