Ramblings 5
The naming of dogs
I’m thinking T.S. Elliot missed the real reason the naming of cats is a difficult matter: it has to do with the age of their humans.
When my sister calls her collie in from the yard, she yells, “Here, Bonn … er, Cassie!” And for me, the dachshund is often “Stop that, Maa, um, Charlie.” I’m afraid Sis and I have fixated on Bonnie and Max. These are the dogs of our youth. And coming up with the names of the current freeloaders is getting tougher all the time.
So the hell with it. From now on, we will name every new pooch Bonnie or Max regardless of breed, temperament, or color. I don’t know for sure about the naming of cats, but the naming of dogs is as simple as that.
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Why my friends have never been President
Each of us has something that we would prefer the media not uncover. For instance:
- Mandy once let it slip that she actually owns “Soap Stars Sing Christmas.”
- When the couple returned to the gala party after a private break in a darkened room, the glitter that had been artfully applied to Rhonda’s cleavage was now all over her date’s face.
- Blair was delegated to explain that the guy on the agency’s big account was being replaced because he suffered from narcolepsy. Unfortunately, what she announced was that he suffered from necrophilia.
- Mary at the recording studio once called the Mister with a ball park frank instead of a ball park estimate.
- While “asking for the order,” Jim dropped the mint out of his mouth and it rolled down the middle of the client’s desk.
There. Now Mandy, Rhonda, Blair, Mary and Jim can feel free to run for office; their secrets weren’t safe with me.
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Demotivational delights
I’m sure most of you already know about Despair Inc. Receiving one of their catalogs is like unearthing a new chapter to the Bible. It’s chock full of sentiments in which I truly believe. Things are pretty shallow here on the back nine.
