Ramblings 4

A note to you worrywarts: It appears that the last post struck a cord. Melissa and Jennifer mentioned that flitting sense of worry which is so distressing until you can figure out what it’s about … then it’s distressing because you figured it out. Tina and Katie used the term metaworry which was new to me. It appears to mean “worry about worry.”

As my sister says, metaworry probably wasn’t a big issue back when we all had to concern ourselves about bringing down dinner with a club, and whether there would be a cave over our heads for the night, and whether Urg finally learned the missionary position because, damn, these rocks are hard on your knees. I guess metaworry is the downside of evolution.

***

A note about Charlie: Due to your concern and suggestions — and for making me feel like a steaming pile of owl shit for considering dropkicking a dachshund into Puget Sound — I am making a renewed effort to civilize the beast within. This is not a new battle; hell, I adopted him two years ago. But you have offered some new things to try. So I doff my verbal hat to you, and will let you know how it goes in the days to come.

***

Laughs at the home: As you know, the Mister is in a nursing home convalescent center. This is a subject I’m sneaking up on a little at a time. It’s the best I can do. You might think there is very little to find entertaining about such places, and you would be right. But it is there if you look for it.

The other day I was ambling on back to his room. This means passing the activity center which is just a wide spot in the hall. Between activities such as bingo and sitercise (honest to God, the first time I heard someone announce sitercise on the P.A. system, I thought they said “It’s time for suicide“), the TV is tuned to something benigh like, oh, Food Network or ESPN.

On this particular day, it was on Animal Planet. Normally there would be a nice wildlife film or sheepdog trials, and I am sure that was true at the moment the channel was chosen by an overworked aide. But when I passed by, the wheelchairs and their residents were parked in front of Animal Rescue so everyone could view abused puppies, cocks saved from fights, and kitties caught in drainpipes. Soothing entertainment for the oldsters, right? If you can’t trust Animal Planet, who can you trust?

***

Speaking of TV: I am glad American Idol is back so I can belittle my fellow man and woman. I think that may have been the twelve worst performances of all time last night. Can’t wait to make fun of the girls tonight.

 

11 Responses to “Ramblings 4” »»

  1. Comment by Lucy’s Mom | 02/21/07 at 3:29 pm

    I sure agree about American Idol last night. Pretty sad. I can only hope the girls do better.

    Don’t feel like owl shit. We love you and so does Charlie. We just didn’t want you to forget that.

  2. Jan
    Comment by Jan | 02/21/07 at 4:08 pm

    Every time I see the words ‘American Idol’ the words ‘American Idiot’ come to mind, then I think about the government and heads of such and so on. it’s safer that I do not watch television anymore and now that you have told me what is on Animal Planet I’m sure I’ll never watch it again.

  3. Comment by Barry | 02/21/07 at 4:08 pm

    owl shit has bones n’stuff init. ewwww Linda, that’s gross.

  4. Comment by Steve | 02/21/07 at 8:21 pm

    You are right about Idol. The guys all sucked. The girls got a raw deal having it broken up by guys and girls. If they had all performed together, the boys would all be sitting in some bus station craphole half way home by now. The redhead from Chicago is a dogwalker for a guy Jean works with, the girl from Naperville and the last two were really good I thought, so It’ll be fun when all the guys are gone.

    I didn’t know what owl shit contained… exactly. That does seem a little grosser than horse shit, and certainly bull shit. Maybe I’ll have to drop the horseshit bullshit and go with owlshit. And Barry… it’s supposed to be gross. “That so and so is full of DAISIES” doesn’t quite have the punch.

    And the poor Mister. Just tell him to keep throwing peanuts at‘em. What the place needs is a bar. Maybe he can open one. How bout a strip bar – with outside talent of course. If he gets that done, I’ll join him. As long as I can bring a good supply of peanuts.

    Hi Jan!

  5. Comment by Roger | 02/22/07 at 8:56 am

    Morning, Steve. Always kinda assumed snakeshit would be oretty unappealing, escpecially the boa and anaconda kind. Aw, well. Love you, Back Nine!

  6. Comment by Linda | 02/22/07 at 9:40 am

    I’m so glad to see an active interest among the male readership … while “worry” seems to be a female concern, the quality of “shit” is all it took to stimulate dialog among the guys. Mars, Venus.

  7. Comment by pete | 02/22/07 at 11:33 am

    Every time I hear about something outdoorsy like ‘owl shit’ I think of Euell Gibbons and wonder if he would have said “Ever eat owl shit? Many parts are edible.”

  8. Comment by Jennifer | 02/22/07 at 7:06 pm

    Didn’t Euell Gibbons die due to choking on a pine cone or something? (And, second question: do any “under age 45″ blog readers even remember who he was? Or what product he advertised??)

  9. Comment by Pete | 02/22/07 at 7:52 pm

    Died of a Heart Attack….. While choking on a grape nuts ;-) (answered the two questions) The actual quote was “Ever eat a pine tree? Many parts are edible.”

  10. Comment by Steve | 02/22/07 at 9:32 pm

    Roger, Linda,
    Nothin’ beats a good dialog about shit… well, maybe not nothin’. But I do think we’re all lucky flies are small.
    It does say something about the boys, doesn’t it.

    Jennifer, Pete,
    By the way Jennifer, thanks!
    And Euell was the worst product spokesman ever… died eatin’ the shit he was sellin’. The worst, that is, until OJ came along… oh yea, what about Buffalo shit?

  11. Comment by katie | 02/23/07 at 9:32 am

    thanks for name-droppin’ me in your blog! wow, i feel quasi famous or something. i love your writing. i love american idol. i love your battle with charlie. we have battles with our dog, molly, who has separation anxiety. i will write more in the coming days about it, and if you need any advice, feel free to email me, we’ve been working on it and some things seem to be helping.

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