Old enough to know better
According to the Texas Department of State Health Services, one in eight persons over 65 - and nearly half over 85 - have Alzheimer’s Disease. One in eight. If that doesn’t cause your bowels to loosen, consider these gems from the American Psychological Association:
- The rate at which new information is learned can be slower among aging adults.
- Long-term memory shows substantial changes with age.
- Word-finding ability declines with age.
- Cognitive changes, which are associated with mental processes such as sensation and perception, memory, intelligence, language, thought, and problem-solving, occur among aging adults.
Flash forward to John McCain. “I am older than dirt and have more scars than Frankenstein,” he has said as though these are prime qualifications for the highest office in the land. If he wins, he will be the oldest person ever inaugurated as President.
As a fellow ancient, this should please me, right? Wrong. Maybe it takes an old fart to call a fart a fart.
Seventy is too old to run the nation. I am a goodly bit younger than Mr. McCain, and I am certainly past my prime. I am not as astute as I once was, I forget thoughts right smack dab in the middle of them, and to the argument that an oldster is more mellow, I say a hearty bullshit. The older I get, the less I have to lose … nobody would want my opinionated figure on the red button, and I am fairly certain the same is true for Mr. McCain.
He can’t help it of course. If he had had his way the nation would have elected him years ago as a Democrat or a Republican or a Reform Party man, maybe even a Bull Moose. But we have rejected him for years, only finding him of interest now that he spends most of his time taking back the things he has said. Such as his pronouncement that the US could stay in Iraq for 100 years for all he cares. And his confusion over which enemy is in which country. And his regret for having said “The issue of economics is not something I’ve understood as well as I should.” While Obama and Clinton are busy trying to beat the tar out of each other, McCain appears to be busy trying to beat the tar out of himself.
Old people get out of the habit of thinking before any damn thing comes rolling out of our mouths. We don’t have enough time left for diplomacy. That’s why characters like Estelle Getty in the Golden Girls or Robert Duvall in Secondhand Lions are so relentlessly and annoyingly cute. But Presidential? Give me a break.
I admit that John McCain is a step up from our current Commander in Chief. But that’s just not good enough here on the back nine.